That's right folks a complete stranger not only thought I was pregnant, 9 months pregnant that is – ie carrying a full-term, ready-to-be-born baby, but also thought that it was a perfectly reasonable thing to ask me! Seriously WTF. I was just minding my own business, thinking about what to make for dinner when from nowhere some bloke is asking whether I'm about to pop?!?!?! What I should have said was "actually yeah, I do mind!"
On the tube home I thought two things: 1. Do I honestly look 9 months pregnant? 2. It's really none of that random man's or anyone else's business if I am or not.
Whilst on the tube I also mused about how I felt:
I felt like crap because I clearly looked big enough to be smuggling a small human being inside of me - especially as I was secretly quite pleased with my current efforts at exercising more (it's obviously not had any effect as yet).
I felt a slight shame because no, contrary to what he believed, I'm not helping to populate the earth.
I felt sad because one of my favourite dresses will now always be tainted by the dreaded 'are you pregnant' question.
And I felt angry that that stupid man had made me feel the previous three things.
Who are these jerks who think they can ask that question to women they don't even know.
Take note jerks:
it is NOT ok to ask a woman if she is pregnant - if she is and you're worthy of the news she will tell you herself.
If/when I'm ever pregnant the whole sodding world will hear about it - I am going to wear so much maternity stuff. And if/when I am pregnant I hope I shall be able to embrace the change that will happen to my body or at least hold a more positive attitude to how I look. In the mean time I'm thinking of making some badges or tote bags with the slogan: 'nope - not pregnant, but I'm SO glad you asked'.
Rant over. On a lighter note I can share this picture. The closest I've ever been to being pregnant is when I dressed up as 'Juno' for a work 'movie character' themed party. The bump was played by a pillow :)